If you know nothing else about improvisation, you probably know "Yes, And." It's the first thing we learn in improv 101. It's the building block for our scenework and for the way we build our communities. Any improvisor will tell you that using a "Yes, And" attitude outside of the theater can be life-changing! Sometimes we use it as selling points for Applied Improvisation workshops. But what does it mean? Does it mean we never say no? That we enthusiastically love everything thrown at us? That we have to agree with everything our teammates do?
Well... not quite.
As a behaviorist, I like to break concepts and actions down into objective definitions. So I'd like to make this proposal of a definition for this sacred phrase:
"Yes" - Accepting the current environmental situation. In scenework, this looks like eye contact, a nod, or some other explicit acknowledgement of the offer made by a partner. In real life, this may be as explicit as saying "Yes, this thing is true" or labeling an environmental event such as "It's raining outside." It could also be a private acknowledgement of the current situation, such as thinking "That ice cream cone looks delicious" or "Snuggling this puppy makes me feel happy." The things you're accepting might not always be positive, though. Often we have to acknowledge the bad things too. "Wow, I'm feeling really stressed out," "This task is really hard," or "I did not like what this guy said to me" are also valid statements of acceptance. All we're doing is acknowledging the reality of the environment.
"," - Taking a moment to acknowledge the present situation, and the choices presented. Heck yeah the comma is important. It's the pause between acknowledgement and action. As humans, we're thinking creatures. Whether the pause is small or large, most behaviors require thought before we engage in them (the exception being reflexive behavior, which is a Word Wednesday for another week!). We plant ourselves in the present moment and weigh our future options. In a scene, this may be where we silently combine our partner's offer with our premise of the scene ("I came on as a vampire, but she clearly said we're at the beach... maybe I need an umbrella..."). In real life, this might be where we debate our choices ("I could push through and finish this blog post, or I could give up and watch Netflix"). Generally, there might be a lot of environmental variables (parts of the "Yes") that are influencing this debate.
"And..." - Engaging in a committed behavior that moves us to our chosen values, given the environmental context
After weighing our choices, we take action. When we're really embracing "Yes, And..." by accepting the environment and taking a breath in the present moment, we tend to take an action that will align with our core values. In the improv world, we value cohesion and support, so our "And..." will usually be a bold statement or move to push a story forward or make our teammate look good. In the real world, "And..." could be as big as completing that big assignment (towards your value of education or professional success) or as small as taking a break for the night (towards your value of mental health and wellbeing). Sometimes, when the "Yes" includes discomfort or negativity, the "And..." may include the removal of that discomfort. When we have a headache, we don't pretend it doesn't exist; we take Advil so that we can get on with our day. Similarly, a real-world "And..." may include difficult conversations or actions in service of our values. Anyone who's had to break up with someone they knew just wasn't right or who's left a draining job has experienced this kind of "And..." The ellipses are important too. Often, you don't take just one action. You take many, in series, each one dependent on the one before (and how the one before altered the environment). In this way, the "Yes, And..." approach to action is ongoing and never-ending.
It's not easy, and we all make mistakes. Sometimes we avoid our values, or lean too heavily into one and ignore another. Sometimes we respond impulsively, thinking only about immediate consequences. Sometimes we refuse to accept what's happening around us. It happens.
Yes, I recognize that life is hard and imperfect, And by making posts like this I hope I can help someone make their life a tiny bit better...